It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
by Beyond-BB-Birthday
Summary: Norman and Carter have a thing. They don't know what to call it... it's not just a shag, but it's not quite a relationship. Watch what happens when an angry Captain and a jealous coworker get involved. Norman Jayden/Carter Blake.
1. Prologue

New chaptered story :)

It assumes that... Norman took Tripto at all opportunities except Mad Jack, Norman fought Mad Jack and his car was wrecked, Madison died, Ethan was apprehended twice, Norman didn't hit Blake, Norman single-handedly saved Shaun and killed the Origami Killer, Scott Shelby died, Norman helped Ethan escape without turning the camera off.

Reviewplz? Kthnx :)

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><p>It was nearly midnight by the time Norman Jayden had finished describing his encounter with the Origami Killer to Captain Perry.<p>

"Alright, thank you, Jayden, we'll need you for a few more days, so I'll see you Monday," the Captain finally said, his tired eyes nothing compared to those of Norman, who'd recounted the tale of his battle with Scott Shelby about four hundred times since yesterday.

"Thanks, Captain," the agent said exhaustedly, leaving the elder man's office and making a beeline for the station's exit.

He was stopped, however, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Norman," Blake said casually. Jayden turned around with a sigh.

"Carter."

"Davis, Ash, Johnson and I were gonna go for a drink to celebrate," he said with a hint of something in his eyes. Norman narrowed his eyes at the cop. "You wanna come with?"

To celebrate…? Celebrate what, the fact that Blake was wrong about Ethan being guilty? The fact that Norman had single-handedly caught the Origami Killer? Blake sure was a character, able to celebrate other people's accomplishments.

The brunette swallowed and shrugged. "I'm pretty tired. Long day," he said.

Blake smiled his usual, somewhat insincere smile, bordering on a smirk. "C'mon, just a few drinks to calm your nerves?" he said, motioning towards Norman's shaking hands.

"_Holy shit, how did I not notice?"_ Norman thought in a panic, trying to stifle the tremors with his other hand. _"At least he figures it's just 'nerves'."_

"Sure, whatever," Norman agreed, following Blake out of the precinct.

After a few moments of walking through the parking lot, Norman remembered his car. "Ah, shit, I forgot," he recalled. "My car gaht wrecked yesterday, I' been takin' cabs back n' forth…" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair in exasperation.

Blake snickered. "How do you forget somethin' like that, Norman?" he asked with a shake of his head.

Norman sighed, still focusing on getting his hands to stop trembling. "It's been a long day."

Carter agreed, using a remote switch to unlock his car from a few yards away. "C'mon, get in," he said as he got in the driver's seat of his black BMW. Norman, reluctant to accept anything, let alone a favour from Blake, paused before finally getting in the car.

"Where are we goin', anyway?"

Blake grinned, and Norman developed a bad feeling in the back of his crowded brain. "You'll see."

Jayden rolled his eyes, but didn't press further. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. He was tired, he was sore, and he really just wanted to go back to his hotel and sleep. He was snapped out of his thoughts when Carter stopped and parked the car.

He opened his eyes. "Aw, fuck, Blake, what are we doin' here?" he complained upon seeing the pink-and-blue flashing neon sign before him.

Blake laughed and slapped Norman on the back. "C'mon, you need to relax."

The brunette scowled, but followed Carter into the establishment. _"Shoulda known that bastard would be into places like these."_

Jayden wanted to crawl into a hole and die when he saw Ash and two other officers he was unfamiliar with waiting for them at the door.

One of them clapped Norman on the shoulder. "Hey, nice work this week, Jayden," he said. Norman nodded as the five men entered the building. A strip club.


	2. I Never Really Liked Cats Anyway

Norman had been to a strip club only twice before in his life, one during his late college years with a perverted friend trying to help him get laid, and once in a similar situation he was in now, with his colleagues from the FBI.

As he and the other officers entered the club, Norman could only feel the crippling withdrawal from Triptocaine and the even-more-crippling embarrassment.

"You're too uptight, Norman," Blake told the agent in mild amusement.

Jayden rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he mumbled.

When the five men entered the main 'dance' room, Norman's eyes burned upon being emblazoned with the many flashing lights around the room. He made a face and followed Blake and Johnson to the bar off to the side of the room while Ash and the other officer flirted with a few nearby dancers.

"I hate these places," Norman muttered, just loud enough to be heard over the blasting bass music.

Carter snorted. "Just relax. Have fun."

The other man ignored him and sat down at the bar. "Hey! I'm Kitty," the small, blonde bartender said with a wink. "What would you like?" she asked suggestively. Jayden shrugged and ordered a regular beer, Blake and Johnson doing the same.

The brunette drank his alcohol slowly as Carter turned around on his bar stool to watch a large-breasted woman on a small, circular stage near the bar. Norman sighed boredly as Blake talked to Johnson about nothing in particular, finishing his beer more quickly than he'd realized.

"Can I get you another, sweetie?" Kitty asked. Norman blushed and nodded without looking up. Blake snickered at the awkward interaction.

After another beer and a half, Johnson was stolen away by a short brunette in nothing but a silver G-string and bra.

After a total of six beers, Blake began urging Norman to, as he put it, 'get off his ass and get some'. Jayden, not appreciating Carter's encouragement, told him to fuck off.

"C'mon, what are you, a faggot?" Blake asked with a snicker.

Norman ground his teeth together and blushed furiously, hoping the lieutenant wouldn't notice in the slight darkness of the room. He somehow didn't feel surprised by Carter's use of that word. _"Just like Blake."_

After a second, Blake looked closer at the agent, before bursting into laughter. "Jesus, you are a fag, aren't you? Oh, man, that's fucking hilarious!"

Norman scowled. "Fuck you, asshole, i's none o' yeh're fuckin' business!" he slurred in drunkenness and anger.

Blake, slightly intoxicated himself, continued laughing. "For real? You're really gay?"

Jayden just nodded as he downed a large mouthful of alcohol, pushing a few hairs from out of his eyes.

Carter just shook his head. "Makes sense, I don't know why I didn't see it earlier." The brunette didn't say anything more as he slurped away at his beer solemnly, before coming to a realization.

"Wha' about you, why ahn't _you _out there 'gettin'' some'?" Jayden murmured challengingly to Blake, who could barely hear him over the music.

Blake rolled his eyes. "I'm picky," he said plainly. Norman gave him a look of scepticism. "B'sides, I don't do one-night stands."

Norman raised his eyebrows at this, almost disbelieving, but Carter looked sincere. "Yah got a girlfriend or somethin'? A wife?" The notion seemed almost unbelievable.

Carter chuckled. "Nah. Used to be married, though."

The FBI agent raised his eyebrows in mild surprise. He never would've guessed that someone as rough and aggressive as Blake would be with anyone romantically, let alone married. "_Although being married doesn't necessarily mean romance, or even love."_

"So wha' happened?" Norman asked with genuine curiosity.

The cop looked away. "You know. Shit happens." It was uttered almost coldly, but Norman didn't seem to pick up on his tone.

Perhaps it was due to this and his slightly drunken state that Norman boldly said, "So yah beat 'er up, right?"

Carter stood and slammed his fist down on the bar. _"Shoulda saw that coming."_ The blonde bartender scowled at Blake, and he sat back down. "Fuck you, Norman, that is _not_ what happened," he said more quietly.

Jayden raised his arms defensively. "Okay, okay, calm down."

The black-haired man just sighed, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. "It was nothing like that, it's just…" Blake was interrupted by Norman suddenly bolting from the bar into the bathroom. "What the fuck?"

Carter sighed upon following Norman into the bathroom and watching in disgust as he vomited in the nearest toilet. He left for a moment before returning with his keys and a plastic cup of water.

Carter snorted and handed Norman the cup of water. "Thanks," Jayden said, standing up, drinking, and stumbling out the washroom door.

"C'mon, I'm takin' you home," Blake announced. He told the bartender to put the drinks on his tab as the two headed for the door.

Norman breathed in the air outside, his ears and eyes no longer under assault. He saw Ash smoking a few feet away.

"I'm takin' Mister FBI here home, you wanna ride?" Carter asked Ash tiredly. Ash agreed, putting out his cigarette and following the other two to Blake's car.

He was in the middle of the parking lot when Norman felt his withdrawal return. "Aw, shit," he groaned, his vision growing blurry and his hands shaking. Blake looked back to see Jayden ready to fall over.

"Jeez," the lieutenant muttered, steadying the drunken agent. "You gonna puke again?"

Ash snorted and got in the car Norman shook his head as Blake helped him into his backseat.

He was in and out of consciousness, but Jayden heard Ash say, "How many drinks did he have, anyways?" and Blake replied, "At least eight." Norman briefly wondered why the cop would spare him being known as a lightweight by lying about his alcohol intake to Ash, but he wasn't awake enough to think it through.

Norman figured he must've passed out for a few minutes, because when he came to, Ash had been dropped off and Carter was asking where Norman was staying. He must've told him the correct address because within moments Blake had stopped again, in front of his hotel.

"Thanks f'the ride," Jayden slurred, getting out of the car. He'd only walked about five steps when he stumbled to the ground pathetically.

Blake sighed, getting out of the car and hurrying after the fallen agent. He helped him up and into the hotel, Norman's arm around his neck for support.

"What floor are you on?" Carter asked begrudgingly, leading the intoxicated man towards the elevator.

Norman thought about this for a moment. "Uh… seven."

Blake frowned. "You sure?"

The profiler nodded and Carter pressed the button for the seventh floor. Norman narrowed his eyes. "Why yeh bein' so nice t'me, Cahter?" he asked quietly.

Blake snorted. "I can't really leave an FBI agent laying drunk in the middle of a hotel, can I?" he asked sarcastically. Norman chuckled and let Carter drag him off the elevator. "And I am the one who made you come out with us when you didn't want to. What room?"

Jayden thought hard. "I think it's… seven-oh-nine." Carter nodded and headed for said room.

"Key?"

Norman grumbled and reached into his pocket, not locating his room key. He tried to access his other pant pocket, but with his arm around Blake's neck, it was too awkward. Carter sighed and slipped his hand into the brunette's pocket, procuring his room key and unlocking the door.

Jayden tried to ignore the beautiful chill he got down his back when Blake's hand touched his thigh.

"Thanks. Fahr, uh, everything." Norman stumbled into his room, immediately staggering into the wall, dragging Blake with him. Jayden felt his heart race upon realizing that Carter's face was _millimetres _from his own, and his arm was still around his neck.

Norman blushed, his head pounding and his hair a wreck, hoping to God that Carter couldn't see how bloodshot his eyes must be from withdrawal. "Uh, sahrry, I –"

Norman did not get to complete his sentence, due to Blake's mouth obstructing his own.

Being in his drunk, hazy, tired and weak state, Norman either didn't want to fight him, or didn't realize who he was kissing, but he kissed Blake back.

After all, he could just blame it on the alcohol.


	3. You Can Read Me My Rights Anytime

Norman woke to a pounding head and a sore body. He sighed upon seeing Blake's sleeping figure beside him, passed out gracelessly on his stomach.

He'd been drunk, but not drunk enough to forget what had happened.

Jayden shook his head in frustration and stood up, doing so quietly so as not to wake the cop. After putting on a pair of sweatpants, he headed to the bathroom. He washed his face and took a few aspirins for his hangover.

The agent ran a hand through his messy hair as he heard Blake stir in the next room.

"_Let's just hope he doesn't beat the shit out of me, or worse…"_

"Morning, Norman," Carter said casually, sitting up and putting a hand to his forehead.

Jayden, confused as to why he wasn't currently on the floor bleeding, frowned. "Yah not… mad?"

Blake chuckled tiredly. "About what?"

Norman rolled his eyes. "Don't pull that shit. We fucked. Ahn't yah… pissed? Self-loathing? Anything?"

"Not really, no."

The profiler shook his head and turned away from the lieutenant. "And you have the balls to call _me_ a fag…" he muttered under his breath. "So yah don't regret it?"

Carter raised his eyebrows. "No, do you?"

Jayden sighed. "I… I dunno. Maybe it was just a mistake… we were both pretty drunk, right?" he suggested wearily.

Blake stood up from the bed and started to get dressed. "I only had two beers, and I was sober enough to drive." He smirked. "Plus, it didn't sound like you thought it was a mistake when you were moaning my name like a whore."

The brunette blushed furiously at the cop's casual statement. "I thought you 'didn't do one-night stands'?" he reminded Carter.

The bearded man scoffed. "Who said this _was _a one-night stand?"

Norman raised an eyebrow at the man. _"What the hell is he implying?" _Unfortunately, Norman wasn't able to inquire about Blake's implications, as he was suddenly overwhelmed with cold sweats and shakes

"_Aw, shit. Not now…"_

Jayden felt his heart race and his body quiver as his withdrawal set in. He tried to stifle his body's tremblings, but being shirtless, it was close to impossible. After a moment of silence, he felt Carter's eyes on him.

"Hey, are you okay?" Blake finally asked.

Norman didn't reply, but tried to get to the bathroom, to his Tripto. _"Fuck, he's gonna see…"_ In a haze of dizzy, sweaty desperation, Jayden collapsed against the bathroom door, trying desperately to remain conscious.

"Holy fuck, Norman, what's wrong with you?" Norman tried to form words, but his body fought against him. Eventually, he fell to the floor a pathetic, panting mess.

He didn't say a word as Blake helped him up onto his bed, the brunette pointing towards the bathroom.

"B-blue vial…" he murmured. Blake gave him a look of confusion, but headed to the bathroom. He emerged a few moments later with Jayden's Triptocaine.

He handed it to the profiler, watching in confusion as Norman snorted the powder, realizing afterward that his nose was bleeding.

"Aw, shit…" he mumbled as Carter gave him a Kleenex.

"S-so what is that, a… drug?" the black-haired man asked eventually, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Norman sniffed, wiping his nose and nodding as the effects of the withdrawal began to wear off. "Yeah… it's not important."

Blake rolled his eyes, placing his hands on his hips and leaning against the wall of the brunette's apartment. "Care to elaborate?"

The agent sat up. "Really, it's nothing." Carter clearly didn't consider this an acceptable response, but didn't try him further.

Jayden took a deep breath and stood up. "Why did you want to sleep with me, Cahter? I wanna fuckin' answer." He said it much more angrily than he'd intended. Blake looked taken aback.

"You're young. Attractive, available. Why not?"

Norman didn't reply. He crossed his arms, thinking critically about Carter's motives, when a thought occurred to him: "Why did your wife leave you?"

Blake scowled. "None of your fucking business, _Norman_!"

"If the guy I just fucked fricken' blew his wife's brains out, I think I have a right to know!" the agent replied forcefully. He was now staring accusatively at Blake, daring him to answer.

The bearded man looked away. "It wasn't fuckin' like that. It's none of your concern." Blake headed for the door. Norman grabbed his arm to stop him.

He gave the man a dark look. "It is now."

The cop scowled and pushed Norman against the wall. "Fuck you. I don't owe you anything." Norman glared at him as he spoke. "You're not gonna tell anyone anything, Mister FBI, or I'm tellin' everyone about your little drug problem, you got it?"

With that, he let Norman go and left, leaving the profiler to lay on his bed and feel sorry for himself and play with his ARI, trying desperately to forget about Lieutenant Carter Blake.

* * *

><p>The following Monday at the station, Norman wanted to die as he walked through the crowd of police officers to his office.<p>

"_Why are they staring at me…? Blake wouldn't have told anyone, would he?"_ Norman thought worriedly. _"No, I'm just over-thinking this. Everyone stares at me anyways. I'm from the fuckin' FBI, of course they're gonna stare."_

The agent didn't feel any more reassured as he walked past Ash, who gave him a curious look. Norman shook it off and went to get a coffee, despite knowing how crappy the coffee was here.

He tried to keep his thoughts preoccupied with the horrible taste (but delightful rush of caffeine) from the precinct's instant coffee as he leaned against the wall of the building. He took in the surroundings he'd never noticed while on the Origami Killer case; he'd been busy enough trying to scrape together a few clues without focusing on the scenery. Not to mention the ARI's function as an environmental disctraction. The plain white walls and floors. Boring. The average-looking cops walking through and sitting around the station. Boring. The one thing that caught Jayden's eye was the empty desk of Carter Blake, a few yards away.

"_Get a grip, Norman. Christ."_

The profiler shook his head and discarded his now-empty paper cup. When he looked up, he felt his face heat up and his blood pressure skyrocket. The moment he'd been dreading since waking up Saturday morning: Blake had arrived.

The brunette took in a deep breath and tried to get to his office before Blake saw him. He hurried past Charlene without returning her greeting, shutting himself into his shitty little office.

"_Fuck, why am I acting like a little schoolgirl? I've had _sex_ before!"_ he thought in desperation, sitting down at his dusty desk. _"Why is this… thing with Carter so different?"_

Norman breathed deeply, putting his hands to his face. It wasn't bad enough that he'd spent his entire Sunday obsessing over the meanings behind every word they'd exchanged. Now he was going to do the same for the rest of the week.

The agent jumped when his office door was opened abruptly.

Blake avoided Norman's eyes when he said, "We need to talk."

* * *

><p>Sorry they're so OOC! Ohyeah and some slash next chapter :D<p> 


	4. Passing Notes? What is This, Highschool?

"We need to talk."

Norman looked up to see a hint of uncertainty in Blake's eyes. "Uh, sure," he said, standing. "What's up?"

Carter avoided looking at Norman as he said, "I suppose you'll be going back to Washington any day now?" he said quietly.

Jayden shrugged. "I s'ppose so."

The lieutenant nodded, crossing his arms awkwardly. "Right. Uh, yeah." He coughed and turned back towards the door, unsure of what else to say.

The brunette just watched as Blake left his office somewhat reluctantly. Norman sighed, returning to his dusty desk. He frowned, picking up a stray scrap of paper from the corner of the table.

He turned it over. _"Bathroom, 9:30."_ Curiously, Norman glanced at his watch. 9:18. Norman sat down, considering the implications of Blake's note. _"What does he want, anyways? He seemed almost… sad that I'd be leaving soon. Probably wants another screw before I leave, fuckin' perv."_

Nine thirty came and went, all the while Jayden tried to convince himself that he didn't have any desire to have sex with Carter Blake again.

At nine-thirty-four, the agent heaved a sigh and left his office._ "I'm just going to see what he wants. Nothin more."_

Carter must've known that Norman would come, because the profiler found him leaning against a sink, arms crossed, asshole smirk on his face.

"You make a habit of this?" he asked smugly.

Jayden rolled his eyes. "Of what?" he asked. His question was rendered useless as Blake grabbed him by his necktie and pulled him into a rough kiss.

Norman pushed him away and scowled. "What's this about, Blake? What do you want from me?" he asked forcefully. Carter was unfazed.

"I thought that was your area of expertise, mister FBI. You're the profiler, right?" Norman hated himself as he felt himself harden at Blake's suggestive tone of voice.

And then, for the first time sober, Jayden was the one to kiss Blake. The lieutenant quickly took over, however, forcing his tongue into Norman's mouth as he backed him into a stall.

Norman felt his heart race as Carter brushed his leg over his erection, causing him to moan reluctantly. Norman bit his lip, realizing just how attracted to Blake he really was.

The two were silent as they desperately removed each others' clothing. Blake went for Jayden's neck, roughly pushing him against the metal bathroom stall. "Yeh still haven't… t-told me what this is about," Norman reminded him. Carter ignored the statement as he removed the agent's belt, while Norman kicked off his shoes. "Are you just horny, or do y-you actually want… like, a r-relationship…?" he managed to sputter out as the bearded man took off his own shoes and pants.

Blake gave the brunette a glare, causing Norman to blush heavily. "Jeez, you're such a girl," Carter told him. The shorter man rolled his eyes. "Fine," Blake said, touching Norman's torso with something with a semblance of apology. "Somewhere in between 'just horny' and 'a real relationship'."

Jayden raised an eyebrow, but said nothing more as he leaned up to entwine his tongue with Carter's.

"Ahh, shit," he moaned when he felt Blake's hand wrap around both their shafts. The profiler threw his head back against the wall as Blake relished in the moment, stroking them much too slowly for Norman's liking.

"Shit, Blake, just fuckin' do it already," Jayden murmured grudgingly.

Blake smirked. "Of course, why didn't you just say so?" He continued his ministrations with his left hand, and lifted Norman's leg so his foot rested on the toilet behind them. He produced two fingers from his right hand, forcing them into Norman rather sadistically. Unfortunately for Norman's pride, this only caused him to whimper in pleasure.

"Calm down, kid, I haven't even started," Blake said with a self-satisfied chuckle, stretching the agent with his fingers. Jayden ignored him, making a point of closing his eyes and not kissing him back when Carter took his mouth.

Blake groaned as he finally pushed himself in, using one muscular arm to steady himself against the metal wall. Norman opened his eyes when he felt Carter pause.

He followed the cop's line of sight to his right hip, where one of his most recent and prominent of scars still remained visible, red and puffy. Blake looked at him quizzically.

"S'nothin'," Norman lied, feeling his face turn red. "Keep goin'."

Blake wasn't convinced, but he continued.

"Oh, fuck!" Norman finally moaned, eyes rolling back in ecstacy. "Right there!"

Carter teasingly thrust in a few more times, purposely avoiding the brunette's prostate before hitting it again. The black-haired man took just a bit too much pleasure in denying Norman any.

Norman retaliated, tightening himself around Blake's member, extracting a sharp growl from him: "Ngh, fuck, Norm!" The taller man sped up, making sure to hit Jayden's spot with each push.

"Mmm, ngh," Norman cried weakly. Carter gave a particularly sharp push, causing Jayden to scream out. ("OH MY GAHD!") Blake scowled and tried to quiet him with his mouth. Norman didn't seem to notice his own outburst, but simply kissed Blake back forcefully, moaning whorishly into his mouth.

"Shit," Blake said after leaving Norman's mouth. "I thought it was j-just the alcohol… that made you like this," he stated smugly.

The profiler either didn't have a reply or didn't care enough to argue, but he said nothing as Carter kept forcing himself in, both men dangerously close to their release.

"Fuck… Cahter, ngh, faster!"

"Goddamnit, N-Norm… you're so fuckin' tight…"

"Blake? Is that you?"

Both Norman and Carter stopped, eyes gaping at the sound of a third voice in the room. "Uh… Ash?" he replied awkwardly.

The voice replied: "Y-yeah, uh, Perry's looking for you… I'll just tell him you're, uh, busy…"

Carter just covered his face with his hand as Ash left hurriedly. "Well, shit," he murmured, continuing to screw Jayden, (albeit more frustrated and angry) both of them coming after a few more thrusts.

Jayden sank to the floor, sitting with his back against the stall's wall, head back and panting. He didn't move as Blake started getting re-dressed. "What're yeh gonna do about Ash?" the brunette finally asked.

Blake looked down at him. "I dunno. Not that big of a deal, I guess."

Norman just nodded. He bit his lip as he caught Carter staring at the same scar as before.

"How'd you get that scar, anyway?" he asked, stepping out of the stall to wash his face at the sink.

Norman closed his eyes. "Nothin'."

"You're full of shit," he heard him say.

Jayden sighed. "Tell you what. When you tell me what happened to your wife? I'll tell you where every single scar I have came from."

Carter stepped back into the stall for a moment to smirk at the agent. "You've got a deal. I gotta go," he said, playing with his tie. "Do I look, uh… presentable?"

"Well, you look about as presentable as usual, if that's what you mean," Norman replied with a sly smile.

The cop snorted and headed for the bathroom door. "You're really funny, Jayden."

And with that, Norman was alone with his thoughts once again.

* * *

><p>Norman had worked through lunch to finish his report on the Origami Killer case for Perry. He didn't want to risk having time to think about things between him and Blake, so he tried to distract himself with work.<p>

It didn't work very well.

"_Somewhere between 'horny' and 'a real relationship'? What did that even mean? And what about Ash, he wouldn't tell anyone, would he?"_ Norman thought hurriedly as he typed away on his laptop.

"_Why do I even care? I'll be out of Philly by the time Ash can tell anybody, anyways. I just need to put this behind me."_

The brunette jumped when he heard his cell phone ring. He picked it up, recognizing the number to be that of his boss.

"Hello, Agent Nahman Jayden."

"Jayden. I heard you closed the books on the O-K case?" Norman replied affirmatively. "Alright, I want you on the road back to Washington tomorrow morning."

"Uh, actually, my car kinda got… crushed. In a, uh, car crusher." Norman felt his face turn red, and he facepalmed.

There was a pause from the other line. "Well, uh, we'll have to discuss that when you get back. Maybe someone can give yeh a ride? Or maybe there's a train station nearby, just let me see…"

Jayden sighed. "Nah, don't worry about it, I can get a ride. No prob. I'll see yah tomorrow, chief."

The superior agent said goodbye, and Norman hung up. He didn't give himself time to criticize himself as he dialled Carter's cell number.

"Hello, Lieutenant Carter Blake speakin'."

Norman took a deep breath. "Blake. I… I'm leaving tomorrow." The brunette couldn't believe his own wussy tone of voice.

Blake was silent for a moment. "Oh."

"But I have one last favour to ask."

* * *

><p>ROADTRIIIIP ~~<p>

Kay so sorry this was such a fail X) Don't give up on me quite yet though :)

R&R brethren!


	5. Good, Old Fashioned Car Sex

"This is not what I had in mind when you said you needed a 'favour'." Blake murmured as Norman got in the car the next rainy morning.

"Well," the agent began, placing his bags in Blake's backseat before stepping into the front seat. "The drive only takes three hours, but I'm not expected to be back until about one."

Carter raised an eyebrow. "It's eight a.m."

Norman nodded. "I might've given them some skewed numbers about traffic," he said with a slight smirk. "I bet we could spare a few stahps along the way."

Blake grinned and said nothing more as he started up the car and headed for the highway.

* * *

><p>"Where's Blake gone to?" Perry asked casually. Ash looked up from his computer and over to Carter's unoccupied desk.<p>

"I think he's driving Jayden back to Washington today." Ash said quietly, trying not to let his frustration show.

Perry frowned. "I didn't know they were that close," he noted.

The lieutenant scoffed and remarked under his breath about how close they _really_ were.

Captain Perry paced in front of the desk. "Yeah, I wasn't too fond of that kid. Made me look bad to the press…"

Ash nodded. "Yeah, a little too cocky for me," he said scornfully. The brunette couldn't help but be reminded of yesterday's encounter in the washroom. He shuddered at the memory.

"You know what's weird?" Perry wondered aloud.

"What?"

"That tape from the interrogation of Ethan Mars just before he escaped… it's missing."

* * *

><p>Both officers fought to catch their breath as they re-buttoned their shirts and re-tied their ties.<p>

"Hey, Blake, I been meanin' to ask yah," Norman said between heavy breaths.

Carter groaned. "Fuck, not more 'relationship' bullshit…"

Jayden rolled his eyes. "Not that. Remember that tape? Of Ethan Mars?"

Blake raised an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"Where'd it go?"

"I hid it. For future blackmail," he said with a smirk.

The profiler rolled his eyes. "I know you don't really give a shit about me, but please don't do anything stupid," he requested, doing up his seatbelt as Blake put the car in gear to get back on the road.

Norman was surprised to see an emotion on Blake's face that wasn't smugness or douchebaggery. It was… dismay, perhaps.

"Norman, I do give a shit about you," he said in a voice Jayden rarely heard from Carter's mouth. "You think I'd be driving your ass all the way back to Washington if I didn't?"

The agent scoffed. "You just want a fuck, and since you found out I'm gay, you figure you can get away with it." It was only after I'd said this that I realized how much of an asshole I sounded like.

Carter rolled his eyes. "Fine. You know what, Norman? Let's date, then."

That hadn't been the result Norman had been expecting.

"Yeah. You think I just want a fuck? Well, I don't." Jayden opened his mouth to reply but Carter cut him off. "I'm not a fucking monster, you know."

The brunette was so off put by the lieutenant's sudden expression of actual emotion (other than rage) that he couldn't think of what to say.

Blake pulled out of the parking lot they'd ducked into and back onto the highway. It was several minutes before Norman finally said, "Okay."

"Huh?"

Norman smiled. "Let's date."

* * *

><p>Ash tried desperately to not let himself care about Blake and Jayden. Why should he care, anyways? Norman was going back to Washington, and Ash would never have to see him again.<p>

Probably, anyways.

Perry had asked him to find the tape of Ethan's escape. He didn't say it outright, but Ash was pretty sure that Norman had helped Mars out of the precinct.

Find the tape, find solid evidence of Jayden's betrayal, and, most likely, reason for him to be expelled from the Bureau.

Not that he cared.

* * *

><p>"If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right," Jayden told Blake. Carter asked him what that was supposed to mean. "I mean, you gotta tell me what happened to yah wife."<p>

Blake didn't reply.

"I'm serious," he prodded.

Carter remained silent as he passed a large truck on the highway. Finally, he said, "Next stop. Not while I'm driving."

Norman accepted these terms and sat back.

When the officers got off the highway in Washington D.C. and parked in a sparsely-filled parking lot, Norman looked at the other man expectantly.

"Okay, uh…" Blake breathed deeply. Jayden placed a hand on his shoulder and kissed him. It felt different than ever before. It surprised even himself.

Carter had been just about to speak when Norman felt the blood drain from his face and his stomach flipped. _"Perfect timing for withdrawal," _he thought sarcastically.

"You okay?" Blake asked.

Jayden didn't reply as he started shaking. "Uh," he murmured, trying to control his tremors. He felt blood stream from his nose.

Blake started the car.

"Wh-what are you d-doing?" the brunette sputtered out as Carter began to back out of their parking spot

"Hospital."

Norman grabbed the steering wheel, causing the other man to slam on the brakes. "We c-can't go to the hospital. It'll go away…"

Blake stared at Norman for a moment before cutting the engine and rolling his eyes as he sat back. Norman breathed steadily and tried not to pass out.

"Guess what?"

Norman closed his eyes. "What?"

Carter replied, "The deal's changed. You wanna know what I did to my wife? You're gonna tell me what's with your drug problem."

The profiler sighed and dug through his pocket for a Kleenex, wiping his face. "Deal. You first."

Blake snorted. "You first."

Jayden rolled his eyes. "My sunglasses? They're an untested FBI gadget I'm pilot-testing, and it has side effects, which the Triptocaine counteracts. That's it. Your turn."

The black-haired cop shook his head in disapproval. "You gotta get off that shit."

"Yeah, yeah. What about you? You smoke, right? You know it's not that simple." Norman retaliated, the effects of the withdrawal finally beginning to subside.

Blake shrugged. He had a point.

"So. Your marriage?"

"Fine. It's not as good a story as yours, though," Carter said sarcastically. "I cheated a few years back. She found out, she left me."

Norman was rather surprised. "Really? Who'd you cheat with?" He wasn't sure why he even asked; he knew almost nobody in Philly anyways.

However, when Blake blushed for the first time since Norman had known him, he knew that it was likely a person they both knew.

Carter murmured something.

"Huh? I can't hear you."

The lieutenant sighed. "I cheated with… Ash."

* * *

><p>Bad chapter is bad.<p> 


	6. Who Knew Norman Was the Highschool Slut?

Norman had only been back in D.C. for two days and he already missed Philadelphia. It wasn't even just Blake that he missed, but the city itself. D.C. was too busy and (obviously) political. Philly was more like, 'dude, whatever'.

Jayden had always considered himself the serious political type, but then again, he'd never known anything else. His parents were die-hard liberal politicians themselves, so it stood to reason than Norman would be as well.

But being away from Washington had made him realize that being serious isn't everything. Sure, he'd been in relationships before and he'd been out of Washington before, but it seemed different this time.

When the agent had been congratulated by his coworkers on his work in the OK case, Norman had wondered for the first time in his career if the FBI was really for him.

"_That's crazy,_" he had told himself. "_I've been working to get to where I am for years. Just 'cuz Philly was a nice change from D.C. for a week doesn't mean I should question my career choice._"

Norman had shaken the thoughts away and headed back to his office.

Now, two days later, he still longed to return to Philadelphia. He missed the dirty streets, the rude people and the fact that not everyone had a stupid political agenda to shove down your throat.

He didn't, however, miss the police station.

Sure, he missed Carter, but he only remembered the precinct's horrible political climate and Ash's dirty looks. (Though since the lieutenant's confession, they did make a bit more sense…)

Norman sighed. How he missed Philadelphia…

* * *

><p>Ash wanted to slap someone.<p>

Carter had hidden the tape well – it'd been almost a week he and Perry had been searching and still neither man had located it.

He was almost certain it was Blake's doing – who else would want to protect Norman? Everyone at the precinct either barely knew who he was or hated him, except for Blake.

At least Ash had come to term with his jealousy. Yes, he'd admitted, he was jealous of Norman. Although it had been years since Ash had last been with Carter, he still felt something for him. Even Ash wasn't quite sure what it was.

"Hey, Sam," Perry said, motioning for Ash to follow him as he walked away. "Blake's gone for the next few days, investigating a homicide down south. While he's gone I want you to _find_ that _tape_."

Ash sighed as he followed Perry to the press room. "I told you, I've looked everywhere –"

"I don't _care_. Find it" the captain said sternly. Ash made a face as Perry left for a press release on the latest big case of New England.

Although Ash was getting sick of Perry ordering him to do the near-impossible, he knew he would never stand up to him. Sam sighed and went back to his desk.

After a few moments of mindless work, Ash couldn't concentrate enough even to accomplish 'mindless work'. "_There's got to be somewhere I'm missing…"_

Sam recounted for the hundredth time the numerous places he'd searched for the tape. He sighed and went over to his coworker's desk, checking the top drawer (pens and paperclips, that sort of thing), then the second drawer (old papers and books) and the third drawer. (Blake's taser, keys, cuffs and extra gun). He tried the forth drawer, but as usual, it was locked.

Obviously, Ash had checked the drawers countless times and tried picking the lock of the forth drawer many, many times.

But that was when Blake was in town, either on lunch or out investigating. Now, he wasn't even in town.

Sam went back to the third drawer and took out Blake's keys. There were four on the ring, two he recognized as the interrogation room key and the standard key for the precinct's handcuffs. He tried the other two on the forth drawer.

The second worked.

Unfortunately, the only things in the drawer were a dress shirt and a USB drive.

Desperate, Ash checked for a false bottom – and was stunned when he discovered its presence. He removed the drawer's contents and pried the bottom out, revealing the tape entitled 'Mars'.

Ash grinned.

* * *

><p>It had been three weeks since the OK case, and Norman was desperate to go back to Philly. He'd only seen Blake once since then, meeting halfway between Philadelphia and D.C. for a weekend.<p>

Jayden was surprised to find that he'd even begun to miss the environment of the police station. At least it was interesting.

Norman hadn't gotten a new case yet, he'd been doing paperwork for the OK case and doing profiles for coworkers while he waited for something to _happen_. He'd never been bored with the FBI before; it was a foreign feeling.

"Hey, Jayden," Norman looked up from his computer to see Johnson. "A word in my office?" Norman nodded and followed his supervisor to his office. _"Probably more car insurance bullshit,_" he thought, recalling the Mad Jack incident.

After he'd sat down across from Johnson in the man's office, he realized that Johnson was a little more tense than usual. "Norman."

"Yes?"

The older man sighed and opened a drawer in his desk, procuring something and placing it on the desk before Norman.

Jayden did his best to retain his poker face as he stared at the offending object: the Mars tape.

"What are we here for, Jayden?" Johnson asked. Norman remained silent. "What am I looking at?"

Norman bit his lip and felt his heart race. He knew he was screwed, he might as well stop playing dumb. "Look, I know I made a mistake. I just…"

"Fuck, Norman!" Johnson swore. "I can't just let this go, you know that, right?" Norman closed his eyes and nodded. He felt his heart pound.

Johnson sighed and put his hands on the desk, letting his head hang in exasperation. "I'm gonna need your badge, Jayden."

Norman didn't open his eyes.

"You're on suspension."

The brunette nodded and opened his eyes. _"I guess they say 'be careful what you wish for'"_

* * *

><p>"Cahter? It's Nahman."<p>

"I know who it is, dipshit, you think I wouldn't know that accent anywhere? What's up?"

Norman smiled, hearing Blake's smirk in his voice. "I'm on the highway back into town. I'm staying. For a while." Jayden closed his eyes when Blake didn't reply. "I' been suspended from the Bureau."

Carter finally replied. "What? Why?"

"I think Perry stole the tape. My bahss got a hold of it." He swallowed. "So I'm gonna do a bit of P.I. work in Philly for a few years."

Carter waited for a moment before replying again. "I'm sorry you got suspended, Norm."

Norman snorted. "Don't be. I'm not. I needed a break from the FBI anyways, and I missed Philadelphia."

"And me, of course."

The ex-agent laughed. "Of course. I'm renting an apahtment on eight-ninth street –"

"When are you getting here?" Carter interrupted. Norman snickered at his eagerness of his return.

"I'll be there in about twenty minutes."

Norman could almost see Blake's smirk in his head. "Come over. You can move in later."

Norman just laughed and agreed before they hung up, and felt his mood raise significantly. Ever since they'd started… whatever this was, his mood has tended to be higher.

He left the freeway about a half-mile from Blake's place and found himself breaking the speed limit on the way.

"Really, Norm? Did you break the sound barrier on your way over?" Blake teased when Norman pulled into Blake's driveway ten minutes later. "'Twenty minutes' my ass."

Jayden just rolled his eyes "Shut up," he retorted, pulling the other man towards him in a deep kiss.

The two staggered back messily, Norman almost tripping over the back of Carter's couch. Neither man dared to break their kiss as Blake pushed the profiler against a wall almost violently.

"Missed me?" Jayden teased, breaking only to catch his breath. Carter didn't reply, but simply attached his mouth to Norman's neck. "Gahd…"

Both men attempted desperately to remove the obstructing clothing in their way. Norman wasn't sure at what point Blake had started sucking him off, but groaned appreciatively at the feeling.

Norman panted and bit his lip as Blake sloppily tongued his hard-on, one hand fisting Blake's short hair and the other steadying himself against the wall. Before he could warn the older man, Norman shot, yelling out as he did so.

Blake stood up. Though he did swallow, he was clearly unhappy about it, giving Norm a dirty look.

"Sahry," the ex-agent said awkwardly. He bit his lip as Blake undid his belt.

He leaned into Norman and murmured, "Are you really? Prove it, Norm."

Jayden didn't like where this was going. He felt a chill run down his spine as Carter dropped trou, looking expectantly at the other man.

"I… I'm sahry, Blake…" Norman stuttered. Carter snickered and grabbed Norman's neck, attempting to drag him down.

"Fuck!" the brunette exclaimed, pulling away desperately. "Seriously, Cahter, I c-can't…"

Blake frowned as Norman pulled his pants back on, Carter doing the same, realizing that something was wrong with the other man.

Norman sat on the floor against the walls and trembled a bit. Carter joined him. "What was that about, Norm?" he said as kindly as possible.

Jayden sighed and chuckled in a melancholy tone. "It's stupid…" he murmured. "I just… I had this teacher, in eleventh grade…"

Blake frowned. "What?"

Norman laughed again. "I was failing his course, and it was late in the year… I had a boyfriend, so he knew I was gay…"

Carter realized what must've happened before Norman even said it.

"It was so stupid… I was desperate to pahss, he offahed, I accepted. I dunno know why, but ever since then, I just… I _can't_, and I'm sahry…"

Blake surprised even himself when he hugged the younger man. "Don't be. Don't be."

Norman just half-hugged him back and nodded.

"I'm really glad we're… whatever it is we are."

Carter laughed. "Me too."

* * *

><p>AN: LOL Normy's a sluuut. But srsly. He hates himself for it :(


	7. Jonesing For a Fix

"I'm trying to do work, Cahter," Norman complained, turning back to his files, despite the sexually-obsessed older man pestering him to finish his work.

Carter snorted. "Like I care."

Norman rolled his eyes. He was immersed in his first case as a private investigator – a boring, white-collar crime chain of fraud and embezzlement.

Blake gently grabbed Norman's jaw, drawing him in for a kiss. "C'mon, Norm, that boring shit can wait."

Jayden smiled at Carter's childish impatience. He kissed him back and (finally!) closed his file.

When the doorbell rang, interrupting Carter's advances, the brunette groaned and stood up from the couch to get it. He ignored the cop's bitching and opened the apartment door.

"Hey, Norman." It was the landlord. Norman bit his lip and faked a smile.

"Hi, Jahck. I don't have the rent yet, I'm sahry." He felt his cheeks heat up as Jack nodded once. "I get paid t'morrow, I swear."

"Okay, Norman. Last chance, though, you hear?" Norman nodded and apologized again, saying goodbye to the ever-persistent landlord.

Blake burst into laughter once Jack had left and Jayden had returned. "So you're poor now, Norm?"

The ex-agent scowled. "Shut up, fuckhead. I just got this case a couple a' weeks ago, it's not fuckin' easy teh make money when yah don't get a paycheck."

Blake just laughed and shook his head. "Whatever. C'mere, I don't care if you're poor." Norman chuckled and kissed the bearded man, straddling his hips on the couch and shoving his tongue down his throat.

* * *

><p>It'd been almost a month since Norman had left Washington, and, as he'd been counting, almost a month since Norman had used the ARI.<p>

Since then, his cravings for Triptocaine had surprisingly subsided somewhat in frequency. Unfortunately, they'd only increased in severity.

It'd been a week since his last attack, which had thankfully occurred when he was alone in his apartment. As he felt the trembling of his hands begin, Norman groaned in realization. Unfortunately for him, this time, the attack's occurrence was very inconvenient.

"Shit!" he murmured under his breath. Ethan glanced over to him in concern while Shaun blabbed on about his love for various foods he was choosing from on the menu.

Blake tried to keep a poker face, instantly understanding what was occurring. Norman's face drained of colour and he tried desperately to keep his body from shaking. "I-I'll be right back," he muttered, heading for the bathroom before he started bleeding all over the table.

He'd been rather surprised that the Mars family would ever want to speak to either him or Blake ever again, so he'd been outright shocked that Ethan had invited them to dinner. It'd been months since the OK case though, and Shaun, according to his father, had wanted to see the men that had saved his life. (Norman didn't have the heart to point out that Carter Blake had very little to do with the 'saving his life' aspect.)

Norman locked himself in a stall and proceeded to vomit into the toilet, followed soon after by blood pouring liberally from his eyes and nose.

"Ugh," he groaned upon emptying his stomach and flushing the toilet. He sat back against the wall as the cold chills started, crawling up his back and making him want to be on fire just to warm up.

The blood from his eyes had stopped coming, but his nose seemed to be a bottomless fountain of it, creating quite the stain on the man's (thankfully black) trousers.

Norman could hardly tell when his phone vibrated due to his own tremors. He took it out to see a text from Blake, wondering if he was okay. He returned the message in the affirmative, and left the stall a moment later to wash his face.

He returned to the table a few minutes later, still slightly pale, but less sickly.

"We ordered for you, Norman," Shaun informed the brunette. "We got you some sort of pasta, Carter said you'd like it."

Jayden just nodded and avoided Ethan and Carter's eyes. He decided to proceed as if nothing was wrong. "Thanks, kiddo. What're you havin'?"

The man turned out the child as he launched into another rambling about the various pros and cons of certain food dishes as he tried to keep himself from shaking again.

Not that they'd overly tried to hide their relationship, but Norman was dreading the moment when Ethan would realize it. He'd hoped for the possibility of getting through this evening without the fact surfacing.

Unfortunately, Shaun hadn't received the memo. He'd been talking endlessly about school (he'd gone off on a tangent from food) when he randomly, tactlessly asked if Norman had a girlfriend. The former agent blushed and avoided eye contact with anyone as he replied, 'kind of'.

Shaun giggled. "Whaddya mean, 'kind of'?" he asked playfully.

Ethan chuckled. "Leave him alone, Shaun, eat your fish." Shaun rolled his eyes.

Norman and Blake exchanged an awkward look as Shaun waited on an answer. "Well, uh, actually…" Norman began uncomfortably. He felt a pang in his throat as he tried to speak.

Ethan raised an eyebrow.

"Carter and I are kind of… together."

Ethan looked like he wanted to die. Shaun looked confused, probably too young to understand being gay.

The rest of the evening was uncomfortable at the very least. Ethan had told Shaun that he'd explain what Norman had meant later, and had said that he was happy for them. Carter was very quiet, not breaking his silence even as they drove back to Blake's place for the night.

"I didn't mean teh tell them … I didn't think yeh'd care, anyway…" Norman murmured on the ride home.

"Whatever. I don't really care," Carter claimed half-heartedly.

The brunette sighed. "Sahry, I didn't realize you had such a charming reputation to keep up."

Carter laughed. "Yep, that's exactly it. You're very embarrassing, Norman."

Jayden smirked. "I do what I can."

* * *

><p>Ever since the end of his relationship with ARI, Norman had experienced intermittent difficulties with sleeping.<p>

Such as right now.

The man rolled over to face the wall. Then back to his back. Then on his stomach.

Blake, being a light sleeper, could never get sleep when Norman was like this either. So sometimes Blake would sleep on Norman's couch, but more often than that they would just sit and talk.

"How's your case goin'?" Carter asked, lighting up a cigarette, despite knowing Norman hated it.

Norman shrugged. "Okay, I guess." He yawned.

After a few more moments of comfortable silence, Blake said, "When did you lose your virginity?" Norman blushed and turned to face the older man with a look.

"Why?"

Carter shrugged, taking a drag off his cigarette nonchalantly.

"You first," Jayden bargained.

Carter scoffed. "Fine. Twelfth grade. Your turn."

Norman shook his head and sat up on his elbows. "Nah, that's not good enough," he decided. "Who was it? Tell me abaht it."

The bearded man gave him a look and put out his cigarette. "Christ, you're such a girl. Her name was Mary Stinson. We dated from eleventh grade 'til we graduated and then she moved away."

Norman nodded. "Okay."

Carter smirked. "C'mon, Norm, your turn. What was his name?"

With a sigh, Norman conceded: "Fine. Trevor Rodgers, tenth grade. We hadn't been dating or ahnythin', we were just friends… then we gaht really drunk at a pahrty, and it just kinda… happened.

Blake stared at Norman for a moment before bursting into laughter. "H-holy shit, Norm!" he exclaimed hysterically. "You're such a slut!"

Norman scowled and kicked the other man under the blanket. "Fuck you. At least I didn't cheat on my wife. Who's the slut now?"

Either because he didn't hear him or he didn't care, Carter continued laughing. "Tenth grade!" he gasped between fits of laughter.

When the cop's laughter started to die down, he added: "I can't believe you actually got laid before _I_ did."

"Well, not technically, since you were in twelfth grade before I was in tenth grade. Technically to beat you I would've had to gotten laid when I was, what, twelve?"

Carter chuckled. "Yeah, _technically._"

After a while of silence, Norman finally said, "And I'm not a slut. I had the hugest crush on him forever, okay? It wasn't like I didn't know him or something."

Blake frowned. "I was just joking, Norm, jeez. I don't think you're a slut. It wasn't, like, an orgy or somethin', was it?"

With a scoff, Norman replied that it wasn't.

"Then you're not a slut."

Norman just laughed and rolled over. "Then you're on your own, right?"

Norman was unsurprised when Carter kicked _him_ under the blankets.

* * *

><p>AN: There were a few fail inconsistencies in the previous chapters so I fixed them btw.


	8. Slutty Nerd

Norman had been desperately pleading all day with any god that would listen for Carter not to be in his apartment when he got home.

His atheism must've prevailed, however, for when the P.I. entered his apartment, there he was, laying on his couch like it was his own place. It wasn't this that bothered Norman – on the contrary; he was the exact same way at Carter's house.

No, there was a different reason. Norman had left that morning without removing the eviction notice from his front door. A decision that he was now mentally kicking himself for.

Naturally, Blake was reading the eviction notice carefully on Norman's couch when the man entered. "What is this shit, Norm?" he asked without so much as a 'hello'.

The brunette sighed. "My day was fine, thahnks. A backrub? I'd love one, thahnks for offerin'!"

Carter was unamused. "Why didn't you tell me you can't make your fuckin' rent?"

"It's nothin' to worry abaht, okay?" Jayden told him. Blake's signature look of anger-slash-scepticism became present on his face as he emphasized that Norman was fucked. (As if he didn't already know it himself).

A few moments passed as Norman set his briefcase down on the couch and took a seat himself. "I really don't know what I'm gonna do," he admitted reluctantly, rubbing his face in exasperation. "My rent here is abaht as cheap as it gets in Philly. An' I've been runnin' the same investigation for months with no end in sight."

After a few more moments, Blake said, "Why don't you move in with me? We practically live together as it is."

Norman bit his lip. They'd been in this… quote-unquote 'relationship' for almost six months… maybe moving in together wouldn't be as weird as it seemed to Norman. Plus, Blake was right, they already practically lived together what with how liberally they shared apartments.

In fact, the more he thought about it, the more sense it seemed to make – if they lived under the same roof, that would mean less commuting to each others' places, and therefore, less money spent on gas. And very possibly more sex, as well.

So Norman agreed.

* * *

><p>"Ngh, fuck," Norman moaned loudly. He desperately shoved his hips back onto Blake's dick as he thrust forward. Norman whimpered in pleasure as the older man repeatedly impaled his prostate.<p>

Carter, feeling particularly cocky (pun absolutely intended), leaned down to Norman's ear. "Louder, slut."

The sound of his demanding voice alone caused Norman to shudder with pleasure and cry out again. Carter smirked, though it was lost upon the blindfolded man beneath him.

The two weren't prone to engage in kink often, due mostly to Norman's slight aversion to it. Every once in a while, though, Carter would take full control of the younger man, a release they both needed habitually. It was also at these times when Norman's favourite position (on his knees) was dominant. A win-win.

Norman somehow felt rather appreciated at these times, despite Carter's insincere insults being whispered against his ears, for the black-haired man never pushed his limit, never again forcing Jayden into a blowjob. This actually surprised him; if there was any time he'd expect Carter not to care about him, it was when they had kinky sex.

"AH! Shit!" Jayden cried, struggling uselessly against his own tie that bound his hands to the headboard. "Fuck! Fa-fahster!"

Carter stopped completely (much to the brunette's frustration), bending over Norman's back to tell him, "_I_ set the pace, bitch." He punctuated the insult with a slap of Norman's ass.

Norman arched his back and moaned shamelessly as Blake resumed his previous actions. After a moment, the bearded man fisted Norman's hair and jerked his head up sharply, exposing his neck. Carter attacked the skin with his tongue and then teeth without breaking their rhythm.

"You're such a whore, Norman," he whispered against said whore's jaw. He increased the roughness of his plunges into Jayden's ass, to the other man's delight.

Norman felt his tired limbs beginning to fail him, his position on his knees no longer working. Carter released Norman from his the tie binding his wrists and flipped him onto his back. Before he could so much as blink Norman's legs had desperately fastened themselves around his waist, and Blake continued fucking him.

"Mmn, mmn, Cahter," Jayden exclaimed after a particularly hard hit of his prostate. "Fuck, so g-good…"

Blake would've smirked if he wasn't so blinded by pleasure himself. "Ngh, you're so tight, Norm…"

After a few more moments, both men came (Carter demeaningly did so on Norman's face) and collapsed on the bed. Norman removed the tie obstructing his eyesight, wiped his face, and let Carter kiss him deeply, their tongues colliding tiredly.

"I think three rounds is m' limit," Jayden announced between pants for air. Blake snickered and drew their lips together again.

And then, for the first time ever, Norman wondered if he might be in love with Carter.

They _had_ been dating what, almost eight months now? Norman laughed inwardly upon realizing that this was one of the longest relationships he'd ever had. This brought him to a thought.

"How long were yah married for?" he asked the man (who had lit up a cigarette) beside him.

He raised an eyebrow. "Like, two years. Why?"

Jayden scoffed. "I've never been with someone even half as long as thaht. How sad is that?"

Carter chuckled. "Eh. It's not really important. Sure, I was married for two years, but I was fuckin' around on her for most of that time. I cared more about Ash than I cared about Ellen, that's for sure."

Norman gave him a look of surprise. "Did yah… love him?"

Blake rolled his eyes. "That's so gay."

The other man laughed. "Yah layin' in bed with a guy yah just fucked. I don't think yeh're entitled to say that anymore."

Carter just snorted and took a drag off his cigarette.

After a moment, Norman said more seriously, "Yah did love him, didn't yah?"

Carter scowled and told Norman to shut up, adding, "It was a long time ago."

"Calm down, I don't care. Fuck," Jayden replied defensively. "Forget I said anything if you're gonna be a whiney bitch about it."

"Fuck you."

The offended cop just put out his cigarette, as if symbolically extinguishing the conversation.

* * *

><p>"Were you like this in high school?" Blake asked teasingly.<p>

Norman sighed. "Like what?"

"Well, we're supposed to be on a date, and you're doing work. Sounds very 'Norman' to me."

The brunette gave him a look, but conceded and closed his files. "There, now we can drive in silence much easier," he replied sarcastically with a snicker. "Besides, you're the one who decided to 'surprise' me ahfter work."

"Yeah, I'm such a horrible person for surprising you. On your birthday," Carter retorted. "I can just picture you in school, goin' to a party and studying instead of getting drunk and getting laid." The thought made him laugh.

Jayden was less amused. "It's weird how one day you'll say I was a slut in high school and the next day I was a nerd. Which is it?"

Blake laughed as they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. "Who said they're mutually exclusive? The slutty nerd. Kinky, right?"

Norman just laughed to himself as they got out of the car, and in a rare occurrence of romance, held hands. _Probably just 'cuz it's my birthday, _Norman reasoned to himself.

As they entered the restaurant, Jayden thought he saw a familiar face approach to leave the building.

It was Ethan Mars.

Norman sighed and tried to think of what the protocol was here. Ethan was on a date too, with a tall, blonde woman, who, despite her initial description, was actually rather ugly.

"Oh, hey, Norman. Carter," Ethan said in surprise as they crossed paths. "How are you guys?"

Norman discreetly relocated his hand to his pocket, Blake doing the same upon greeting Ethan back.

"Oh, this is my girlfriend, Tamara. Tam, these are my friends Norman and Carter." Norman wasn't sure they really qualified as Ethan's _friends_, but the story behind their relationship was a long one that Ethan had probably tried to erase from his memory. The men exchanged pleasantries with Ethan's girlfriend, who, as Jayden discovered, had a very irritating voice. _Jeez, Ethan could probably do a lot better_.

Norman, feeling obligated to do so, asked how Shaun was. Ethan said that he was good, and he was actually just going to pick him up after dropping Tamara off.

"Tell him we said 'hi'," Carter said. Ethan agreed and the four parted ways.

Norman and Carter ate, discussing various topics like Ethan's sub-par girlfriend, Norman still being much younger than Blake, and their newfound common interest in politics.

"I swear, if those fuckin' Republicans get in again, someone's gonna die," Blake hyperbolized passionately as he parked in his driveway. Jayden just laughed and exited the car.

The brunette set his briefcase down on the kitchen table when he felt himself start to shake. Carter looked at him with concern as Norman headed into the bathroom.

Norman breathed deeply and tried not to puke, bracing his arms against the sink. He felt one of his few remaining vials of Tripto in his pocket; he'd been going to throw it out. Now he wasn't so sure.

_Don't be an idiot. It's been almost a month since last time._

But then he remembered the effect s of the last bout of withdrawal he'd endured, about a week ago. He'd passed out and missed a full day of work.

The ex-agent pulled the tube out of his pocket and sat down on the floor of the small room, still breathing deeply. He unstoppered it.

_Maybe just one line_, he thought desperately, pouring out a small amount of the drug into his hand as carefully as he could while shaking.

After snorting the powder, Norman re-capped the vial and pocketed it, without standing up. He closed his eyes and hated himself as his shakes died down. He still felt sick, having only inhaled a small amount of the drug, but still better than usual.

"Hey Norm, you okay?" Blake called from the other dimension that seemed to be on the other side of the bathroom door.

"Yeah, 'm fine," Norman called back and prepared to stand up. He lost his balance and ended up knocking over a wastebasket next to the sink. "Shit," he murmured to himself.

"You sure you're alright? Don't break my shit."

Norman rolled his eyes and put all the garbage back in the wastebasket. One particular item, however, caught his eye.

Jayden could hardly believe his eyes as he stood up, still staring at the paper in his hand.

It was an envelope, addressed to Carter Blake. From the FBI.

Norman opened it, removing a letter.

"We thank you for bringing this matter to our attention… We will take the necessary measures…" Norman read aloud, unable to believe what he was reading.

He set down the letter and its envelope.

"It was him."

* * *

><p>AN: That was actually very hard to write. Couldn't get the last scene down.


	9. Self Pity Isn't Your Colour

Norman felt like the world's biggest hypocrite as he let Carter kiss him. The cop attempted to remove Norman's dress shirt, but it was then that the brunette finally pushed him away.

Blake raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

The other man sighed and looked away from him as he said, "Do you care about me?"

Carter rolled his eyes. "Not this shit again…"

Jayden shook his head and closed his eyes. "Fine, forget it."

Blake sighed. "Alright, alright. I care about you, okay? Why do you constantly need to be reassured of it?" he asked honestly.

Norman scoffed. He rose from the bed and went for his briefcase on the other side of the room. He extracted the folded piece of paper he'd previously found in Carter's bathroom an hour ago and tossed it to the black-haired man on the bed.

"What's this?" he asked in confusion. Norman stared at him expectantly as he unfolded it. After realizing what he was holding, he looked back up.

"This looks bad, doesn't it…" he said guiltily. It was then that Jayden finally lost it.

"Oh, yah think? Yah think it's bad, do yah?" he said loudly. He wasn't quite yelling, but his voice was raised. "Fuck you, Blake. One second you 'care about me' and the next you're pulling shit like this!"

Blake stood up. "It wasn't me, Norm. I swear –"

"Then what is that? Yah had business with the FBI at the exact time when I got suspended, huh? What a coincidence!" _Now_ he was yelling.

Carter shook his head in exasperation. "Look, I can explain it, okay?"

Norman gave a laugh of hysterical disbelief. "Is that so? So, just so I can get it straight, you're gonna try to convince me that yah didn't send th' FBI the tape of me lettin' a suspect go so I'd get fiyahd. You knew I'd come bahck t' Philadelphia!" he had one hand on his hip and the other against his forehead. "You knew I'd come bahck, so yah tried to get me fiyahd so you could keep FUCKING me." He spat the second-last word at Blake, unable to control his hatred. Carter could hardly understand him, his accent was so thick when he was angry.

They were silent for a moment while Norman tried to calm down and Blake tried to think of a way to explain himself.

After a moment, Jayden said, "So, yah got an "explanation", or what?"

Carter scoffed. "What, so you can call me a liar?" Jayden ignored him. "Okay, you know what I did? I tried to transfer you to the police department. We had a surplus in the budget this year, I suggested we get a full-time FBI agent stationed in Philadelphia, and everyone agreed. So I sent them a request to get you. Okay?"

Norman still wasn't having it. "Really. You wanted to fuck me _so badly _that yah went through ahll that shit. That's so interesting, Blake. That's really great."

"See? I knew you'd do that," the cop pointed out. Norman sighed and shook his head. After a second, he started toward the bedroom door. Blake stopped him again.

"C'mon, Norman, why are you doing this, huh?"

The ex-agent stared at him. "Because you're a selfish piece of shit, Blake. You only care about getting laid and you don't care who you fuck over in the process."

Blake looked away from him, but stopped Norman for a third time when he tried to move past him. "I didn't send them the tape. You know why I did all that shit to get you back?"

"Enlighten me."

"Because I…" Blake covered his face with both his hands as he turned bright red. "I love you."

Jayden almost felt it coming, but was still shocked when the words came to his ears. It took everything inside of him to not believe him, for the sentence was said with such honest pain that Norman could hardly look at him.

"Look," he said finally. "I… I'll be bahck in an hour or so. I just gotta get some fresh air, okay?"

Norman looked back to Carter and saw the pain on his face as he stepped out of Norman's way. He left the house, and, realizing he had nowhere to go, began to walk aimlessly.

He didn't stop walking when it got dark out, not when it turned cold and not when the lights of the city began to go out. He had nowhere to go, so he simply didn't stop.

* * *

><p>Norman woke up at noon the next day on a bus stop bench in front of a drugstore. He felt like shit and was freezing his ass off, so he stood up and tried to figure out where the fuck he was.<p>

After a few moments, he gave up – he was in a part of town he couldn't identify for the life of him.

After another moment, he realized that he had neither his phone nor his wallet on him.

The ex-agent, feeling like the stupidest fuck on the face of the earth, considered what to do. In the end, he opted for asking a guy waiting for the bus where they were. He told Norman that they were in South Philly, and to get back to Oak Lane he needed to head north for about a three-hour walk.

"_Well that sucks," _Norman thought to himself. He thanked the man at the bus stop and headed in the aforementioned direction.

"_This is all fucking Blake's fault. If he wasn't suck a prick I wouldn't have left in the first place…" _he complained to himself. After fifteen minutes of walking, he'd gotten lost again and had to ask another person how to get to Grey's Ferry.

After resuming his trek back to Blake's apartment, Norman revised his earlier criticism. _"What if he really is telling the truth?"_ he wondered. _"I should've at least given him a chance…"_

Jayden was too busy thinking that he almost didn't notice the cop car pull up next to him. He turned towards it and felt his heart rate hit the ceiling. He tried to look casual as the window rolled down to reveal a familiar face.

"Norman?"

"Ash?"

The police officer looked surprised. "Blake's been looking for you since last night… he's pretty worried."

The brunette blushed. "Oh. Really?"

Ash nodded. "C'mon, get in. He's looking for you right now." Norman nodded and did so. "Why'd you go running off in the middle of the night anyways?" he asked bluntly.

Norman sat down and sighed as Ash put the car back in 'drive'. "I… I think he tried t' get me fiyahd."

"What makes you say that?" he asked in confusion as he merged back onto the busy streets of Philly.

Jayden looked out the window, very desperately not wanting to discuss his relationship with Blake with Ash. Seeing no way around it, however, he responded with, "Remember in the OK case, when Mahrs escaped? It was me. I let 'm go. And Blake had it on tape. He sent it t' my supervahsor to get me fiyahd so I'd come bahck to Philadelphia."

Upon saying it out loud, Norman realized how stupid he sounded.

"Uh, w-why would he do that?"

Norman looked away from Ash as he said, "You didn't know we're dating? He wanted me to stay in Philly because of it."

Ash didn't answer. He blushed slightly and turned the car sharply onto the freeway. "I should probably tell you…" he swallowed and Norman turned to look at him in realization.

"It wasn't Blake," they said at the same time.

Ash sighed. "I'm real sorry, Jayden. I didn't realize you'd think it was Blake… I really didn't want to do it, but Perry was making me…"

Norman just nodded, but he wasn't really listening. He was too focused on how much of an asshole he'd been to Carter.

"_He probably thinks I'm an idiot… and he told me he loves me! Fuck, how do I manage to screw up every relationship of my life?"_

As Ash pulled into Blake's driveway, Norman sighed. _"I'll be lucky if he ever speaks to me again"_


	10. Norman Jayden: Resident Badass

They had pulled up next to Blake's apartment building.

"I'll give Blake a call, tell him you're okay," Ash said. Norman nodded and thanked him. When he went to open the car door, Ash said, "He… he really cares about you, Norman."

This surprised Jayden, not only because of who it'd come from but how it was said. Ash's tone was honest and sad, and Norman almost felt bad for him. Then he remembered that it was Ash that had gotten him suspended, and his guilt dissipated.

Ash drove away and Norman, not having his key, waited in front of the door feeling like a loser.

"He's gonna hate me," he mumbled to himself.

The agent felt his stomach turn when he saw Blake's car fly into the parking lot across the street. Carter practically ran from the vehicle to where Norman stood outside the building.

"Shit, Norm, what were you fucking thinking?" Blake demanded half-angrily as he approached Jayden. "'Be back in a few minutes' my ass." When he reached him, Carter put one arm around Norman in a sort-of-hug and kissed him lightly.

Cold, tired and as dirty as one could get walking through Philadelphia, Norman entered the building at the unlocking of Blake's key. "I'm sahry, Cahter."

The older man didn't remove his arm from around Norman's back as they stepped into the elevator. "I know."

"It was Perry. And Ash."

"I know."

Norman looked at him. "Yah knew? Why didn't yeh say anything?"

Blake scoffed. "Like you would've believed me," he said pointedly as the two got off the elevator.

They entered Blake's apartment and Norman collapsed on the couch in exhaustion. "I really am sahry. I shoulda believed yeh," he said, eyes closed. He felt the other man sit down next to him.

"It's okay," he replied quietly.

Norman opened his eyes and turned to face Carter. "I love you."

Blake's face turned red and he had been about to say something when Norman's lips on his cut him off. The brunette kissed tiredly, his confession evident in the action.

"I love you too, Norman."

* * *

><p>It had been three days since Norman's trek across Pennsylvania, and he was back to working his white-collar crime case.<p>

"I think I'm on to somethin'," he reported frantically, searching the apartment for a dress shirt. "Can I call yah back in an hour?"

"Alright, but you'd better have something concrete, Jayden." Norman said goodbye to his client and got ready to confront his suspect.

He jumped in the car and got on the freeway. He called up Blake while waiting for the traffic to clear up. Blake didn't pick up.

"Cahter, it's me. I'm about to make a huge break in my case, and… well, I'll see yeh soon if yeh're not out when I get there… if yeh get this call me back."

Norman Jayden pulled into the parking lot of the Philadelphia Police Department twenty minutes later and all but flew into the building. It had been over a year and a half since he'd worked there himself, but he still remembered his way around. He noted Blake's and Ash's empty desks and headed for the secretary.

"How may I help you?" she asked in a fake tone of voice.

"I need to see Captain Perry immediately."

The pink-clad woman didn't break her smile as she said, "I'm sorry, that's not possible, he's in a meeting." Norman rolled his eyes and placed his hands on his hips, wishing for the first time in a while that he had an FBI badge to show to indicate his authority.

"When will he be bahck? It's very important."

"About ten minutes. Feel free to take a seat and wait for him." Jayden sighed but did as he was offered.

After about five minutes of wishing he had an ARI to play with, the precinct's back doors opened and Blake walked into the building. He was accompanied by Ash and Perry, both of whom had a somewhat worried look on their faces.

"I'm taking care of it. I have the paperwork in my office, we'll talk it through in a minute." The three made a beeline for Perry's office, and Norman stood up to get his attention.

Blake saw him first. "Norm?" His face was a cross between confused and anxious, his tone reflecting the same.

Jayden nodded at him professionally and approached Perry. "Captain Perry. I'm Nahman Jayden, I'm sure yah remember me," he said with a bit of spite. Perry looked like he wanted to slap him. "Could I have a word with yah in yeh're office?"

Perry rolled his eyes. "I don't know what you're doing here, Jayden, but I'm a busy man."

Norman grinned. This was going to be very enjoyable "In that case, I'll make this quick."

"What are you doing here, Norman?" Blake asked in bewilderment. Norman ignored him and stepped closer to him. He was face-to-face with Captain Perry.

He didn't let his smile fade. "I know that yeh've been pulling white-collah crime chains all over New England. And I have proof. I traced the transition of the money yeh're laundering all the way back to _your_ bank account. I've got the numbers right here."

Blake and Ash stared in slack-jawed awe as Norman pulled his arrest warrant from his back pocket.

"I'm not legally able to make arrest, Perry." He gave the document to Ash. "But they are."

Samuel unfolded and read through the document, Blake peering over his shoulder. "Well shit," Carter said finally. Perry's face (absolutely priceless) was positively mortified. Carter clapped Norman on the shoulder and the two watched in amusement while Ash formally put Joshua Perry under arrest.

* * *

><p>"That was pretty badass, earlier, Norm."<p>

The ex-agent smirked and shifted positions on the bed. "I do what I can." Blake smiled and kissed the other man deeply. "That was one of the most satisfying moments of my life."

"Believe me, I know what you mean. I'm so glad that shithead is gone, after the bullshit he put you through."

Jayden closed his eyes and they connected mouths again, Norman's tongue forcing its way into Blake's mouth. "I do _not_ want," another peck, "to talk about Perry right now."

Blake smiled into Norman's mouth. "Me neither." He placed one hand against the back of the brunette's neck and the other went for his belt. Norman hummed in contentment as Carter stripped him.

He leaned up to Blake's ear and whispered in a rather seductive tone, "Fuck me." Carter moaned quietly and nodded. Jayden grinned at his response. "Please…"

Carter removed his remaining clothes and stroked himself. "You're pretty slutty tonight," he said conversationally.

Jayden smirked. "What, you're complaining?" Blake rolled his eyes and proceeded to finger the other man hurriedly. He scissored his fingers and hit Norman's prostate forcefully.

"Shit!"

Carter lined himself up and entered Norman without another word.

"Aah, ah," Norman groaned deeply. Carter gasped as his cock was slowly enveloped by the other's tight heat. "Fuu-uuck." He leaned down to kiss him, tongues colliding messily, mouths half-open. Norman had one arm around Carter's waist as if to encourage him and the other on his shoulder as if to steady himself.

Blake gradually picked up the pace, obstructing Norman's mouth with his whenever he got too loud (which was most of the time).

"Jesus Christ, Norm…" Blake grunted out between hits to Jayden's prostate.

The younger man threw his head back and squeezed his eyes shut. "Ngn, f-fuck!" he exclaimed desperately, stroking himself as Carter thrust into him. "C-Cahter."

They moved in frenzied, sweaty unison a while longer until their respective climaxes. Blake glued his mouth to Jayden's as he laid down next to him.

After catching their breaths, Norman sighed. "My suspension ends in two weeks."

Too hazed to understand, Carter replied: "Huh?"

The other chuckled. "My suspension? From the FBI? It's almost up."

"Oh, right." He ran a hand through his short hair. "So you're goin' back to D.C. then?"

Norman bit his lip. "I dunno…"

Carter smiled. "Do what you want, Norm." He punctuated his sincerity with a kiss, laid back and lit up a smoke.

Norman closed his eyes and left himself to wonder: what _does_ he want?

* * *

><p>AN: I am actually so sorry. That was a very unacceptably long wait for an update. I had been in France on an exchange program for 3 months and the other month since then has been catching up ad school.

Anyway, one chapter left and an epilogue ~

Don't give up on me just yet!


	11. Smokin' Ain't Allowed In School

"Congrats, Sam." Blake shook his friend's hand and smiled genuinely. "Sorry, I mean 'Captain Ash'."

Norman took his turn at shaking Ash's hand and congratulating him on his new position. "Well done, Ahsh, yah deserve it." The other thanked him.

"A word, Jayden?" he asked, nodding off to the side. Norman followed him away from the growing crowd of celebrating cops and into his new office. The door still read 'Captain Perry', but was due to be painted over that day. Ash leaned against his desk.

"I'm really sorry about all this, Norman," Ash said with an honest look. "I didn't mean to get you suspended and all. I was just… jealous, I guess."

Norman nodded and accepted his apology. "It's alright, I can understand."

Ash nodded. "We used to be… well, I'm sure he's told you. But after his wife left him he was devastated."

Jayden raised his eyebrows. "Really? He never said anything like that…" he murmured thoughtfully.

"Yeah, it was…" he shook his head. "I'm sorry, it's not important. I'm over him, really."

"Nah, don't wohrry abaht it," Norman insisted. "I'm sahrry how it worked out for yah, but I know yah're important to him." Ash snorted. "I mean it, he really cares about yah."

Sam smiled and considered this. "Well, thanks, Norm." He stood up and held out his hand to shake. Norman took it and patted him on the shoulder.

"Good luck with yah new position," Norman said. "I'll see yah soon."

Ash returned the sentiment and they left the office. The profiler sought out Carter, who was starting his third beer and was arguing lightly with a coworker. Norman sighed half-heartedly and reminded him of the time.

"We gotta be at the court in twenty minutes," he said.

Blake nodded. "I know, I know." He said 'see you Monday' to all his cop buddies, took Jayden's hand and hurried out to the car.

"We don't have to do this if yah don't want to," Norman repeated for the five-hundredth time that week. The two jumped into Blake's car and left the precinct.

"Norm, I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't want to." They got on the highway and headed for the courthouse downtown. Blake cast Jayden a sideways smile. "Why, you gonna back out?"

The brunette chuckled. "Of course naht."

Carter returned to his asshole-ish self: "Damn right you're not, not after I went through all the trouble of looking like a faggot in that restaurant."

Norman remembered half fondly, half embarrassedly, the scene to which Carter was referring. The two had been out for dinner to celebrate simultaneously the end of Perry's career, the termination of Norman's case and the end of his suspension. He smiled as he recalled the bright red colour in Blake's face as he'd done the whole get-down-on-one-knee deal, proposed in his casual, nonchalant way: "How about marrying me, Norm?" and looked like he wanted to die of humiliation. It was only made worse by Jayden's incessant laughter at his embarrassment.

"Shut up," Carter had demanded, several other people in the restaurant watching them. Between fits of laughter Norman had managed to say 'yes' and Blake had kissed him, followed by him flicking him in the face.

The two pulled into the parking lot of the court five minutes late and rushed into the building.

* * *

><p>"You're sure you can't just be stationed in Philly permanently?" Blake repeated whiningly. He was sucking on his second after-sex smoke as he returned from the kitchen.<p>

Norman sighed. "No, I already narrowly avoided bein' fiyahd, they'd want me to be right under their noses." He continued typing at his laptop and simultaneously eating a bagel. The ring on his fourth finger taped against the keys as he typed. He smiled despite their conversation.

"That's fucking bullshit," Carter declared, plopping down gracelessly on his couch with his own lunch.

"I know."

There was a prolonged silence in which both men pondered the situation. "You know," Blake started quietly, putting out his cigarette, "if you went back to D.C., I would come."

Jayden raised an eyebrow at his husband. "Really? Why? You've got yah whole life here, I can't ask yah to move so far away just for me and my career."

Blake rolled his eyes and shoved the remaining half of his bagel in his mouth. "Hey," he said after swallowing. "We're married. We gotta do shit for each other."

Norman chuckled. "Yeah, yeah. I'll think of something." He couldn't help admiring him just a little; he'd changed drastically since when they'd first met, even from when they first got together. And for the first time in his life, he felt like one of his relationships might actually last. "We should probably go to D.C. soon anyway; my parents don't even know I'm mahrried."

Blake nodded. "Yeah, I should probably tell my ma, even though there's no chance in hell that she'll remember it one day to the next."

Norman closed his laptop and sighed. "I wanna get clean before I go back," he decided, referring guiltily to his Tripto.

Carter scowled. "What, you're not clean right now? You dipshit," he said.

"You know I've been havin' a hard time with it."

He rolled his eyes. "Norm, you're such a dumbass." Jayden ignored the insult. After a moment, Blake's eyes lit up. "Hey, I've got an idea. Close your eyes."

A scoff. "Screw off," muttered Norman half-heartedly. Carter insisted, and after a moment, the other gave in. He heard rustling, followed by the distinct sound of striking the flint of a lighter. "Don't burn anyth –" Blake shoved a cigarette in his mouth and his eyes flew open.

"Relax," Carter instructed coolly. "Just do it."

Norman glared at him, but complied, sucking in smoke. Blake removed the obstruction from his lips and allowed Jayden to embarrassingly sputter and cough. Before he could give Carter a piece of his mind, he tossed his half-full pack of cigarettes at him.

"Here, take up a new hobby."

Norman finished coughing, picked up the smokes and glared at his husband. "How is this supposed to help me?"

The other shrugged. "Replace the Tripto with something else. Something _legal_." He tossed Norman his lighter.

The brunette rolled his eyes. "I guess it could help." Blake stood up and patted him on the shoulder.

"Try not to burn your fingers lighting up," he said with a snicker. He left the room and ignored the profane insult that he'd known Norman would follow with.

* * *

><p>Shaun gave Norman a conservative hug. "Good to see you again," Ethan greeted him. "You too, Carter." The three adults exchanged handshakes and pleasantries.<p>

After the group got a table, Shaun blabbered on as usual. Having reached the universally 'mature' age of twelve, Shaun's conversation topics had slightly matured, having gone from 'I wonder if fish would want to walk if they knew about it?' to 'Did you know that Europe has their own union?'.

"I'll have the seafood medley," Ethan said to the waitress when she arrived at their table. After taking everyone's order, Ethan beat Shaun to the punch by starting up an 'adult' conversation.

"So, Norman, are you heading back to Washington?" he asked.

Carter coughed and Norman replied, "Not yet. We'll probably move in a year or so, I'm in no hurry." Ethan was visibly fazed by Jayden's use of the word 'we'. "And you? Still planning to take that trip over to Europe?"

Shaun finally cut in: "Definitely! We're going this summer! We're going to France and Spain and Italy!" Norman smiled at the kid's enthusiasm. "It's gonna be awesome."

"That's cool," Norman replied. Their conversation was cut short when the waitress returned with their food. The four distracted themselves from the semi-awkward exchange by exchanging small-talk about the quality of their meals. When Blake blatantly stole a piece of chicken from Norman's plate, Shaun laughed. Ethan pretended not to notice.

The group was heading outside to leave, still conversing politely, when Shaun ultimately noticed the ring on Norman's finger.

"Hey! You never told me you got married, Norman!" The child stopped walking and grabbed the man's hand to stare at.

Jayden turned bright red, Blake cleared his throat and Ethan looked about as curious as Shaun. "Yeah, Norman, when was that?"

The ex-agent took his hand back and tried to keep walking and play it off. "Actually, it was only about a week ago."

He was sure that Shaun had been about to ask whom he was now married to, but Ethan, knowing full well whom he was married to, told him to leave Norman alone.

Norman, Carter and the Mars' left the restaurant and said 'goodbye'.

"Christ, why do we keep agreeing to meet up with them?" Blake bitched as they headed home. Norman was sweating, whether from withdrawal or stress he wasn't sure.

"Because they're friendly. And we're polite."

He scoffed. "Bullshit. You just like seein' Shaun."

Norman rolled his eyes and took out a cigarette to calm himself. "So what? He's a nice kid." He sucked in smoke expertly (i.e. without coughing like an invalid).

"Since when do you like kids? They're annoying." He made a sharp stop at a light and they lurched forward.

The brunette considered this. "So I'm guessing you don't want kids, then?" The prospect amused him; the last thing the world needed was _more_ Carter Blakes. Or more Norman Jaydens, for that matter. "I can't think of a better parent than you!" he added sarcastically.

Blake chuckled. "You don't want kids either, Norm, I know you."

Norman raised an eyebrow as the light turned green. "How did you know that?"

The other rolled his eyes. "'Cause you're too practical. You're too selfish."

"Stahp flattering me."

"It's true. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just who you are. As much as you think kids are cute and all, you'd hate actually having one." He smirked. "And you know it, too."

Norman smoked in silence and considered this for a moment. "You're a pretty smart guy. You should show it once and a while, it'll make people hate you less."

Blake gave Norman a look. "That's funny, Norman. Keep it up and a divorce will be in your very near future."

They laughed, kissed and exited the vehicle when they pulled into the parking lot. "Yeah, this marriage really isn't workin' out for me."

"Well, I guess it's all over." Carter fake-sighed as they entered their apartment building. "Guess I could always go back to nailing Ash…"

Norman shoved him half-playfully. "Shut up." The two entered the elevator and locked lips once more.

"Love you," Norman murmured. Carter returned the sentiment and pressed the button for their floor.


	12. Meet the Fockers, erm, Jaydens

"PDA, gentlemen," Gary remarked with a smirk in his voice. Norman rolled his eyes and dropped Carter's hand.

"Is holdin' hands really considered 'PDA'?" he wondered aloud. Ireland, a few desks away from where Norman sat across from his husband, scoffed.

"It is, the way you two do it," she said. She didn't take her eyes off her computer screen. Jayden ignored his nosy coworker and sat down.

Though technically not anyone's superior (Norman was outside of the 'tiered' system) the precinct respected him. It had grown on him: his entire career with the bureau had been based on his inferiority to the others. Working as a profiler for the homicide department in Philly, it was different. Norman really did like it there.

Ireland stood up to bring Blake a file. It was at this point that Norman noticed he'd been staring at him. "Hellooo," the brunette sing-songed. Blake snapped out of his thoughts and took the file from her. Norman snickered and Ireland winked at the pair of them.

"Gary!" she called. "We got more PDA over here!"

"Shut up!" Carter retorted. Norman just laughed.

* * *

><p>Norman turned the corner and accelerated jerkily. "This is the last time I let you drive anywhere," Blake announced for the third time during the course of the trip.<p>

"You didn't know how to get here!" Norman reasoned. He narrowly avoided hitting the curb. Carter said nothing more as he passed the remaining half of his cigarette to his husband. He smoked quickly and pulled into the driveway of 45 Rockmill Road. "Ready?"

Blake stared at the house with a smirk. "So this is where you grew up. How quaint. I can just see little Norman Jayden running around here…" The other scoffed, ashed and exited the vehicle.

"You comin' or what?"

Carter sighed and followed him towards the front door. It was a small affair, the Jayden house; two stories with a small garden in the front and a patch of grass no bigger than a kiddie pool in the back. A large oak tree flourished in front of the house. It was located in a small suburban area of the capitol; The Monument was visible from the front yard.

"Okay, just be yahself. But don't be the dickwad part of yahself," Norman advised, flicking his cigarette butt onto the ground and preparing to knock on the door.

The other rolled his eyes. "Funny." Though it had been his idea to meet Norman's parents (albeit almost two months after their marriage), the lieutenant was now wondering if this was a good idea. Even in his adolescence, he'd never been good with parents, always offending one or another with his 'bad influence'. Norman knocked, and he sucked it up.

"Norm, is that you?" asked a voice from inside the house. The door was opened and Blake saw Norman's mother for the first time. "Aw, there's my baby!" she cried in exuberance. She took her son's hand and kissed him on the cheek, her short stature making Norman bend down to her height.

"Hi, Ma, good to see yah."

Mrs. Jayden turned to Blake. "And you must be Gabriel! Nice to finally meet you, sweetie." Carter gave Norman a questioning look. The brunette laughed awkwardly.

"No, Ma, he's _Carter_. Gabe and I broke up in twelfth grade."

She laughed and gave Carter a peck on the cheek and an awkward old-lady hug. "Oh, of course, yes I remember now." She looked at the cop with an innocent smile. "I was never good with names. Sometimes I wonder if I'll forget my own name one of these days! I'm Susan." Norman was barely thirty-five, so his mother wasn't nearly as old as Blake's; Blake wondered if she had early onset Alzheimer's or if she was just forgetful.

"Nice to meet you," the black-haired man said as politely as possible.

Susan invited the two in for "tea" and went "to get that lazy man's ass out of his armchair to say hello to his son."

Norman looked adequately embarrassed when they were alone. "Sahry, she's really… out there sometimes."

Carter scoffed. "She's fine, _my_ mom's the lunatic in this family." Norman looked down at his coffee and smiled at his use of the term 'this family'.

Norman's father, significantly older than his mother, entered the room with an air of grandeur. "Norm! Good t' see yah!" he greet emphatically, almost energetically. Quite a contrast to Susan, Mr. Jayden was full of life with little disregard for his age.

"Cahter! I've heard so much about yah, c'mere, boy!" he declared, pulling Blake into an impromptu hug. "Lemme guess: Susan called yah 'Gabriel'."

"Heh, yeah, she did." The other shook his head.

"That woman'll be the death of me. She's had one name for all of Nahman's boyfriends since nineteen-fuckin'-ninety." Carter chuckled at the old man's casual use of the swear word, and was pretty sure of where his husband had derived his accent from. He felt considerably more at-ease as the 'family' sat down for coffee and some sort of inedible pastry of Susan's own creation. '_Guess not all moms are great cooks'_, he thought.

"Good to see yah finally settlin' down, Norm," his father said approvingly. "Thank God yah got rid of that last one, he was pretty bad."

Norman blushed. "Please, Dad, let's not go there."

Blake grinned. "No, I wanna hear this story."

Mr. Jayden roared with laughter. "Okay, so this guy," he began, setting down his coffee for effect. "What was his name, Susan?"

The woman considered this. "Not Gabriel… What was is… Oh, of course! Anthony!"

Norman sighed as his father continued. "Yeah, Anthony. He was some sort of 'artist' and he was always broke, of-fuckin'-course. Always askin' Norm fer money. What a deadbeat!"

"Okay, vehry funny, Nahman can't pick good boyfriends," the profiler summarized. "Can we move on, please?"

Susan stood up and kissed her son on the head. "We love you, hun." She began gathering up the empty cups and plates (featuring an uneaten piece of 'cake' on each) from the table. "Come help your old mother, Norm." Norman reluctantly complied.

"So, Mr. Jayden – "

"Walter, please."

"Walter, then. What do you do?" Blake asked for the sake of conversation.

The elder man stood up and motioned for Carter to follow him into the small living room. He pointed to a framed document on the wall: Certified FBI Agent.

"Like father, like son, huh?" Carter asked with a knowing smile. "Let me guess, psychology department?" He recognized the document well; Norman's hung from their bedroom wall, his name in lieu of Walter's. Norman was unlike his father in many respects, more quiet and reserved. ("_And gay_", he added. "_Obviously_".) But when it came down to it, Carter could definitely see the family resemblance, both physical and mental.

"Nope," he replied to Carter's earlier assumption. "Forensics. Nahman was always into that mind bullshit though, so that's what he went with." He smiled to himself and looked at the certificate on the wall. "He's a great kid, followin' in my footsteps and all. I only been retired a couple years, so we used to work togethahr."

"Yeah?" Blake commented. "That's interesting. My old man died when I was eleven, never was close to him."

Walter put a hand on Carter's shoulder. "Cahter, so long as you don't hurt my boy, you will always have a family here."

The black-haired man let a shy half-smile creep onto his face. "I wouldn't dream of hurting him, Walt."

"Good man." The old man gave him a sincere smile. "He's been through enough, he has. He needs someone like you."

Blake smiled to himself and they returned to the kitchen.

* * *

><p>"You're gonna get fat," Blake declared bluntly. Norman took another bite of cake and promptly told the other man to go fuck himself.<p>

"It's my anniversahry," he explained.

Carter frowned. "No it's not. Wait, anniversary of what?"

Norman smirked. "Six months off Tripto." Carter grinned and high-fived him. "Have I earned the cake, or what?"

"Yeah, yeah. Congrats." Blake was about to say something more when the doorbell rang. "I got it," he murmured when Norman started to stand up from the kitchen table. "How much you wanna bet it's some fuckin'charity beggar again?"

"Don't be an asshole."

He returned a moment later with a box of Girl Scout cookies, and Norman had to restrain himself or otherwise die of laughter. "HAHAHA! G-girl Scout cookies? You're such a fahg!" Jayden cried as he laughed his ass off before him. Blake rolled his eyes and waited for his husband to 'calm his fucking tits', as he put it.

"Fuck you, dickhead, they're good. The way I see it, it's like groceries coming to my door. I don't even have to go out and get stuff now, it comes to me," he rationalized. This didn't stop Norman from practically falling off his chair as he sniggered. "Oh, go fuck yourself."

Norman calmed down a moment later and placed his now-empty plate in the sink. "I'm sahrry," he said insincerely. "Yah _nevah_ make fun of me, right?" Blake ignored his sarcasm.

"Nope. I nevah make fun of yah," Carter replied, imitating the other's accent impeccably. "That'd be mean, _Nahman_."

The brunette smiled and rolled his eyes fondly at the impersonator. He then mustered up his best 'Carter Blake' voice: "Of course not, never. Because we're both mature, right?" Blake laughed at his poor impression – his accent was seemingly impossible to mask.

They kissed deeply, Blake holding the back of Jayden's neck. "Yah so haht, Nahman," he muttered with an asshole smirk.

He tried even harder this time: "And you're really sexy." Norman wrapped his arms around Carter's neck.

Another kiss. "That was much better, I think you're –" Norman's tongue down his throat cut him off, not that he much minded. He slid his hands under the younger man's suit jacket, pulling him closer. "C'mere." They leaned against the kitchen counter, a lazy, slow, mess of tongues. Jayden inhaled deeply, capturing the other's scent.

They broke apart briefly, breathed desperately against each other's mouths. Carter pressed his lips to Norman's jaw, Norman bracing himself against the counter. Blake relocated his hands to Jayden's ass and sucked roughly on his neck.

"Ahh," Norman moaned, closing his eyes as the lieutenant's tongue worked wonders on his neck. Before he knew what he was doing, he found his hand on Blake's crotch. Then he found his other hand at his belt.

"Norm?" He said nothing as he unlatched Carter's belt, attached his mouth to his own and unzipped his pants. Blake reluctantly pulled away. "What're you doing?"

Still Jayden said not a word as he stroked the other man gently. He locked his eyes onto Carter's and pulled down his boxers. He gave him a shy smile and kneeled.

Blake inhaled sharply. The profiler tentatively stroked him. He took one last deep look at Carter and put his mouth around his hard-on.

"_Fuck_…"

For the first time, he tongued Carter's member feverishly, fisting the base that he couldn't reach without practice. He swirled his tongue expertly and bobbed his head. A hum made Blake throw his head back in ecstasy.

"Shit, just like that, Norm," he moaned louder than usual. He put a fist in Norman's hair and another steadied himself against the kitchen counter. "Fuck, fuck."

Frantically, erratically, Jayden forced his own pants down and touched himself. He groaned around Blake's hard-on and deepthroated him. His skills at giving head, so usefully used to pass grade eleven chemistry all those years ago, seemed to come back to him like it was yesterday. "_Just like riding a bike_," he thought.

Norman's eyes squeezed shut and he hummed again, one hand on his own arousal and the other now exploring Blake's upper thighs. He suddenly looked up, up to Carter's face, now contorted in pleasure like he'd never been given head in his entire life. Jayden's tongue danced slyly around his head, shaft, head, slit… he could barely keep track, his own mind too flooded with adrenaline to think straight. He shook his hair out of his face.

Norman felt Blake's grip on his hair tighten, forcing him down further. He moaned deeply at the feeling and stroked himself impossibly faster.

"Oh my fucking God!" Carter cried desperately. "Gonna c-come."

A surprise to both men, Norman jerked away from his husband as he came hard. A few more frenzied pumps and Norman came too.

Sweaty and hot, the two sat down on the kitchen floor. "Wh-what was that?" Blake managed to choke out as they caught their breaths.

Norman shook his head. "No idea."

"Fuck, I haven't had a fucking blow job in three years." Jayden smirked and closed his eyes. He kissed back unfazed when he felt lips on his own. "Y'don't swallow?"

The brunette blushed. "Nevah have."

Blake grinned. "Well, nobody's perfect. Don't worry, I can fix you."

"Pfft. 'Fix me'?"

"Yep."

Norman smiled. "Well that's gonna take a lot of practice, isn't it?"

"I'd imagine so." A smirk.

"Then we should really get started on that." The profiler stood up and dragged Carter up with him. "C'mon, let's go make the neighbours want to rip their ears out."

Blake laughed and agreed. "I love you, Norm."

"I love yah too, Cahter." They kissed again and headed for the bedroom.

* * *

><p>AN: As usual, not incredibly pleased with the ending, but it'll do. Thanks fer sticking around fellas, tip your waitresses and have a safe drive home.

(I kill myself :D)


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